Welcome to the K-Nine Spa, where you'll receive an exfoliating face message (licking) and ear therapy (nibble) by our conscientious attendant, British Bull Mastiff - Billy. Following your facial, you'll be promptly growled, or lowly and deeply barked at until the ever so friendly proprietor, Tony, tells Billy the Brit to "shut up!"

Candles, incense and jazz music play in the background of this holistic and relaxing environment. There are ample couches for you to "chill out" on. Come visit this West Yorkshire oasis.

Billy is waiting...